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do you have any good jokes or stories you would like to share? mailroom THE FUNNIESHumor, The Best Way To Start The Day Who does your child resemble?
Census Bureau, population of the United States, over 309 million, 8% of children born in the United States in 2008 were parented by illegal immigrants, I was wondering who it was that my kid resembles, all the time I thought it was the mailman! Free Nikes for everybody
In defense of the president's remark about a mosque at Ground Zero. Being president, is a lonely tough job. And we all knew; while he was still just a presidential candidate; that he liked to drink, and smoke a little weed. Anybody can have a slip of the tongue after a little partying. What the president really meant to say was, not mosque, but basketball court, and free Nikes for everybody! California
Chief judge of Federal District Court in San Francisco, Vaughn R. Walker's, ruling Thursday, 8/12/2010, will make California the sixth state to allow same-sex marriage, joining Iowa, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut and the District of Columbia. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who had asked the court to lift the stay, said that he was pleased with the decision. So does that mean the Terminator could have been gay? Scary thought, think of it, what if Frankenstien was a Fag.
Animal care possibly contributed to evolution TiffNews10 WiredPRNews.com 2010-08-07 05:22:20 (GMT) Washington, D.C. — Research suggests caring for animals may have had a significant impact on human evolution. As reported by LiveScience.com, recent findings suggest having a connection with animals helped human beings become nurturing creatures concerned with the care of others. Pat Shipman, a paleoanthropologist at Penn State University, is quoted in the report as stating of the subject, The animal connection runs through the whole human history, and connects the other big evolutionary leaps, including stone tools, language and domestication. Instead of being isolated discoveries, there is a theme here. It is very deep and very old. The change to working on the animal connection is stated to have begun approximately 2.6 million years ago. More information about the findings may be available in the August 2010 publication of the Current Anthropology journal. from Webmaster B. javamanmonk:
Happy Birthday United States Coast Guard, August 4, 2010
USS Shamal (PC-13) was the thirteenth Cyclone class patrol (coastal) ship. Shamal was laid down September 23, 1994 by Bollinger Machine, Lockport, Louisiana and launched March 3, 1995. She was commissioned January 27, 1996. Decommissioned by the United States Navy October 1, 2004 and transferred to the United States Coast Guard and recommissioned the USCGC Shamal (WPC-13)., nicknamed "The High Seas". True Story, Coast Guard enlistees must be over 6 feet tall
US Navy recruiting office, Des Moines Iowa, 1966 A young man just out of college, was looking for a Coast Guard recruiter, so that he could enlist. After searching through the telephone book, and finding no local address, he decided to go by the Navy recruiting office, to see if they would sign him up for the Coast Guard. Opening the door at the Navy recruiter's office, he leaned forward and stuck his head inside and asked, "is this where I can get signed up for the Coast Guard?" The Navy recruiter smiled and said, " come on in and have a seat." The recruiter then continued, "you will have to travel to Kansas City, that is the nearest place of a Coast Guard recruiter." The navy recruiter, noting the young man's short stature, then commented, "in order to qualify for the Coast Guard, you must be over six feet tall." This, slightly startled the young enlistee, because he was only 5' 9 1/2". The young man, obviously distressed over this information, asked "why is that?" The Navy recruiter then replied, "it is because, if your ship sinks, you must be able to keep your head above water while wading back to shore!" Who is your real best friend?
This really works...! Try this experiment. Put your dog and your spouse(s) in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you? My New BFF
It was a really good day for me, when I was added as a fb friend, by Socialist Dictator. Meet my new BFF, Broc O'bama. You know your in, with Broc as a friend! I have a friend in Jesus
How do you know, that you are saved? Have you ever been asked that question? Now, I can say, because Facebook said I am. You know that when Jesus and 2 of his friends share a link, you are in! Poor Lindsay, Jail not Good
When Lindsay Lohan arrived at jail; inmates cheered her on, McChrystal Gives Resignation
President Barack Obama announces that he has accepted Army Gen. Stanley A. McChrystal's resignation from his post as the top NATO and U.S. commander in Afghanistan and that he is nominating Army Gen. David H. Petraeus, commander of U.S. Central Command, to replace him. Christina Applegate Is Pregnant!
Christina Applegate (Kelly Bundy), is pregnant; love and marriage, love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage....NOT! Unmarried with children, great idea for a new show. :D, the actress and fiance Martyn Lenoble are expecting their first child. Applegate 38, Lenoble 41, were engaged on Valentines day, no wedding date is set. Hey Al get out the shotgun! President Obama Says Republicans in Congress Blocking Important Progress
From Webmaster B. javamanmonk: I love this picture of the president, it reminds me of Stan Laurel, I can imagine him saying, "here's another fine mess you've gotten me into Ollie." Rima Fakih, Miss USA 2010
Notice the picture of Pres. Obama looking at the picture of Miss USA lol Jokes people tell me, that are fit to publish. Did you hear the story about: the French soldier that lost an arm during a battle; Napoleon pinned a medal on his chest, and told him that he was a great patriot, and would receive a pension of fr.500 per month. The French soldier thought for a moment, and then said, my general, what would I have received if I had lost both arms? Napoleon responded, I would have given you a commission and fr.1000 per month. So the soldier drew his sword and cut off the other arm. From my uncle, a veteran of World War II.
Jokes my computer tells I was created and programmed by Robert E. Medeksza. How did the gum cross the road? It stuck to the chickens foot Did you hear about the two silkworms that had a race? they ended up in a tie Two men are about to be executed, last requests: one says play the Macarena, the other says, kill me first Why does the golfer have two pair of pants? Because he has a hole-in-one What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate clauses ......................... Why did the little boy put his toy car in the oven? Because he wanted a hot rod. From fan mail sent to channel 5, and told by Floppy and DeWayne Elliott, on the campus of Iowa State University. Pig Latin 101 = igpay atinlay 011ayLesson 2 Get Lost Punk = etgay ostlay unkpay Lesson 3 No More Dow = onay oremay owday
Cough Syrup The owner of this drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily from Road Runner Children under 18, do not go past this line, this is a child safe web site!
Subject: Top 36 Things You'll Never Hear From a Southerner :
36.I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. from Hill Climber
Are you a True Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, and raises the knife and charges at you. You are carrying a .40 cal. Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.. What do you do? Democrat's Answer: "Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor? Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? What does the law say about this situation? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a 'Paint and Weed Day' and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior!" Republican's Answer: BANG! Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hydra-shock hollow points?" Son: "Can I shoot the next one!?" Wife: "You Ain't Taking That To The Taxidermist! " ......................
Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an unlicensed pharmacist ADVANCES IN MEDICINE....AMAZINGA French doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.' A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks. The Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.' An American doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind. We recently took a man with no brains out of Illinois , put him in the White House , and now half the country is looking for work.' |
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